The Poetry and Short Stories of Bill Cottringer The Writing Forum’s Writer of the Month - December 2008   AUTHOR’S BIO: I gained lots of useful wisdom from the college of hard knocks after five university degrees and seven professional careers all over the US and overseas. Presently I manage a large security company, Puget Sound Security. (If you’d like to visit our website, please click here). I write books, articles and poetry, coach business success, dabble in sport psychology, take splendid photographs of nature, and landscape the yard artistically. I live on a river in in the scenic mountains of North Bend, WA with my true love Jane. If you’re lucky enough to live in the mountains, you are lucky enough. To access my short stories published here at The Writing Forum, please click here. PUBLICATIONS: Please click here for information about my publications. My Email: ckuretdoc@comcast.net   POETRY BY BILL COTTRINGER Click on the button in front of any title in the list below to be linked to that poem’s location on the page:   BLUR   Don’t Lose Your Punctuation!   I Can’t See Reality   My Best Teacher   The Wrong Goal   The Truth Will Set You Free   Two Journeys Alone   Love Comes Three Times   My Hope for 2012   I See You   Make Every Day Count   Success Quest   Homesick for God   The Twin Within   Remembering and Reconnecting   Supporting and Knowing   The Arrow of Time   Getting it Right   Being On Time   Getting Prepared   Growing Old Gracefully   Winners and Losers   A Better Life   Clarity of a Vet   Our Common Problem   Is The World Worse?   Closing the Gap   Unhappiness   Whispers From My Soul   Your Heart’s Garden   What Is Time?   Childhood Dreams and Adult Realities   Fears   Oh, We Miss Murphy   Artificial Urgency   Reality Repair Rx   This and That   A Sane and Healthy Attitude   BLUR By Bill Cottringer Slow Down Merry-Go-Round, Unplug the treadmill; Can’t catch the blur, Lost in overload, Way too dizzy; Want to thrive, But can’t survive; Looking for simple, Drowning in chaos. What were they thinking? Right click, left click, Double click, delete; Brain about to explode. Breath out angst And all the other crap; What was imagined Can be un-imagined.   Don’t Lose Your Punctuation! By Bill Cottringer Don’t lose your punctuation! Dare to be— The one goose out of formation, The uncooked hard-boiled egg, The best Twin Peaks episode; Or don’t give up being— The unlit fire, The unsung song, The unloved lover; Just be— You and all of you, With the punctuation— TP rolling your way, Crown tilted to the left, Walking wobbly, Being unsure; People say what they say, All you can do, Is listen or not, And then do what you do, With your own punctuation.   I Can’t See Reality By Bill Cottringer I realized something— I am legally blind; I can’t see reality. Oh sure I see stuff, But that’s all in flux; What I can’t see, Is the un-seeable— What’s right behind, All this normal stuff? The longing inside, That’s just a feeling; The sliver of glimpses, I occasionally see, Just pose questions; Is it vague memories, Of my forgotten soul? Trying to be seen, Always outspoken, But my relentless mind? Or just enough to know, With enough certainty, The reality I can’t see, Is just behind the curtain, Of unseen real time, I do see here and now; So maybe I’m not blind, Just needing to see past, What I’m looking at— The meaning of wind, Warmth of sun, Raptor’s eye; I see reality.   My Best Teacher By Bill Cottringer Certainly had some great ones, Along my wayward winding way— Pretty blonde pre-school teacher, Funny bad-hair day History teacher, Critical bi-speckled English teacher, Brilliant tiny philosophy professor, Even a best friend, soul mate, And famous self-help mentor; But one stands out, More than the others, Taller, brighter, more powerful, Without a doubt, Love has been my best teacher; Fiercely forcing me to grow, Learn and get much better, A bad me to my best me, Way beyond my comfort zone, Giving me an unfair share of sad sorrows, With unforgettable heart-wrenching pain, But also moments of incomparable joy, Making the heartache seem to fade, Growing my mind, heart and soul, Into a timeless eternal bliss, Taking me further than anything: From easy innocent puppy love, To demanding unconditional loving, With many stops in between— Lots of romance, sensuality and lust, Enough friendship, acceptance and respect, Plenty of patience, partnership, and purpose, And ending with wholeness, meaning and peace, But still growing with no end in sight, Being assured of one important thing— That all will be well in the end, In spite of what others may say, Not understanding love and its way.   The Wrong Goal By Bill Cottringer The Goal is wrong: Too much self— Self-help, Self-growth, Self-development, Self-improvement, For a little happiness, Short term success, Some peace of mind, But not satisfying. The goal is wrong: Should be self-shrinking, Losing the ego, To find what’s left, Under all the noise, And all the lies— The true selfless self, Whose discovery Brings lasting joy, Forgetting itself.   The Truth Will Set You Free By Bill Cottringer The Buddha, The Christ, The Mohammed, All said the same thing— “The truth will set you free.” What did they mean? Really quite simple, As you already know: You can’t be free, To see freely, With words or thoughts, Until you stop imagining, One really big thing— Your fire of desire, The prison of your mind, Where thinking, Keeps you prisoner, And the Warden, Is you as yourself, That only you imagined, Not being free To see.   Two Journeys Alone By Bill Cottringer Two journeys alone in life, No companions allowed— The journey to enlightenment, And the journey to death; But in the beginning Of those two journeys, Companions sure do help— Softening the fears, Filling the emptiness, Offering laughter, With loving friendship, Honesty and compassion, Along the difficult way.   Love Comes Three Times By Bill Cottringer She first came, Without the blame, And things were easy; No harsh words, No complaints, No change, Just being in love, But without challenge. Then she came again, As a true friend, But with honest words, That tried to turn me, Into a better me, But leaving too soon, Before the job was done. Finally she came again, This time just for us, For us to simply be, Each getting better, Gradually, Naturally, Effortlessly. In looking back, From where I am, It took me, Awhile to see, How to be, Simply in love, Loving us.   My Hope for 2012 By Bill Cottringer For 2012 I have a hope, A hope for just one thing: An awakening of Moral imagination, With true ideas, And right values, In how we all behave; As distance shrinks, With Internet immediacy, Electronic transparency, And technology interconnections, Between this here, And that there; As what one does here, Can be either, A tragedy or a joy, Way over there, Where growing responsibility Is our only prayer. I See You By Bill Cottringer I saw you yesterday, Seemingly long ago, While growing up— Weeding our garden, Climbing Mt. Fujiyama, Serving my country, Using drugs, And getting knowledge, In a Kentucky college. I am seeing you today, Flying high and through These White puffy clouds, Capping majestic Mt. Rainier, And also being quite yellow In my neighbor’s daisy, Or the many other colors, In the falling autumn leaves, Freed by our river's thieves. I will surely see you tomorrow, Whenever, wherever, however; Being more you, Listening to your whispers, Paying closer attention, Being present now, Sharing you with others; And so to you right now, I happily and humbly bow.   Make Every Day Count By Bill Cottringer Don’t wait or hesitate, Make every day count, Start today; Look, see, listen, Be still; Little miracles, Wondrous things, Truth and Beauty, Everywhere; Just can’t be known, Moving too fast, Being too busy, Staying inside yourself, Disconnected, Not belonging, Separated, Except to self.   Success Quest By Bill Cottringer The object of success? An accumulation Of outer things— Wealth, power, Recognition; Growing inner things— Meaning, contentment, Happiness; Longing for deeper things— Connecting, belonging, Giving back, Coming home, Without separate self, Selfish Pride or greed; Nothing more satisfying, Much more than nothing, Everything.   Homesick for God By Bill Cottringer Seeking, Reaching, Searching, Grasping, Believing, Thinking with mind, To find the divine, Always empty-handed; Until a change, Opening heart, Not being apart, But being divine, Without self Or mind, Joining human, And divine, The way It always was, Because it is.   The Twin Within By Bill Cottringer One realm— Biographical self: Surviving and selecting, Growing knowledge, Improving skills, Making achievements, Collecting possessions, Getting recognition, All satisfying ego, For just a while, And with empty smile; Another realm— Divine self: Thriving and Accepting, Loving and understanding, Transfiguring, Transforming, Suffering, Struggling, To be free to be, To be aware and care, To be self-less, For others, To be full, To know one thing— The truth of reality, Forever more, Without less, Or emptiness; Finally, Success without stress, And no excess, Knowing this Divine self, Gave birth To biographical self, As its twin within, To remember yourself.   Remembering and Reconnecting By Bill Cottringer All we seem to be doing, Is filling our empty holes, With education and ideas, Uncertain opinions and beliefs, Costly cars and huge houses, And many other things, Even friends and donations. But what for? To buy what we forgot, And to help reconnect, To what we separated from, In between growing up, From being innocent kids, To becoming experienced adults; Much easier to be silent, And very still, Quietly listening, Hearing a special voice, Deep inside, Otherwise known, As true self, The divine, God, Oneness, Or other sacred word— But always, Bigger and better, Not smaller or lesser, Like cars and beliefs, And all other things, To finally fill our holes, That never were.   Supposing and Knowing By Bill Cottringer A curious, smart fox supposing, A silent, wise hedgehog knowing, Sitting creek-side for a rare pause; The fox had five pressing questions, But the hedgehog had no answers, Or at least, not to speak of. The fox  spoke his supposing words: First, why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? How do I know if I am doing it right? Where can I go to get help when wrong? And finally, what’s in it for me? The wordless hedgehog walked off, Confidently knowing that Mr. Fox, Would soon stop supposing And eventually start knowing.   The Arrow of Time By Bill Cottringer From past to present, From this now to next one, On and on without a change, Forward from this to that— One to many, Simple to complex Order to disorder, Controllable to not; Trying to reverse the arrow, Finding more time to do less, Regaining order and control Making sense of nonsense, Putting a scrambled egg Back into the chicken For re-laying; Not likely success, But inevitable failure. What to do? Ride the arrow, Enjoy the breeze, But after a while, With much patience, Now becomes then, Or then becomes now, Whichever you want; It is the future, That isn’t, At least for our now, But maybe earlier or later, Than we think or don’t.   Getting it Right By Bill Cottringer The only real choices: To accept things As they are, Or accept responsibility For making them different. Today, the choices are: Accepting widespread disorder, Or making respites of order; But that is like Spitting into the wind; You keep trying Until you get it right, The right direction In which to spit.   Being On Time By Bill Cottringer Being on time Is more important Than we think, But easier done Than is usually known Or often said; The secret? Giving up an illusion, About an imaginary flow, That is very convincing, At least until reality Gradually appears All of a sudden: The past, Only a present memory, The present, Only a present experience, The future, Only a present expectation; All happening At once, Despite what we think, Inside the flowing time, We just think we have To keep up with.   Getting Prepared By Bill Cottringer Really ready for what Is coming your way? More debt, More worries, More problems; Less income, Less fun, Less success; More failure More wants, More frustration; Better get tough While you still can— Mentally, Emotionally, And physically; With much more Strength, Endurance, And Resilience Than you have; More work, More doing, Less worrying, Less complaining; If not, You lose; Can’t prevent, Just prepare.   Growing Old Gracefully By Bill Cottringer How you grow old, And how you feel, Is always a choice: To be self-centered, Dwelling on problems— Not feeling well, Pain, suffering and loss, All the misfortunes, Behind, now or ahead, No hope and giving up, Having your life Ending bad; Or to be more positive, Remembering the good times, Accepting the bad ones, Having the courage and hope, To maintain your smile, Knowing with confidence, You did your best, In spite of not always feeling well, Facing the loss and suffering, Knowing it wasn’t forever, Unless your wanted it to be; Before you grow old, Plan a choice, That will end well.   Winners and Losers By Bill Cottringer There is only one way, To be a winner And not a loser; That is, To not have to; There are winners, And there are losers, In the games of life, Can’t just be one, Without being the other, Sometime or another; The best way to be A winner, Is to learn one thing— To be a good loser, Finally noticing, The small things That cause the failures, And keep you from success; It is often a matter of timing, Or lack of patience, Learning to be A good loser, On your way, To learning to be A good winner, Some of the time.   A Better Life By Bill Cottringer A better life, Few have it, Most don’t; Why not? Impatience, Wrong order, Life rule #1: Play now, Pay later; Funny thing though, Later always comes; A little comfort now, More discomfort later; Not a smart choice. Why not? Patience,, Time rule # 1: Now becomes later, Before you know it; You can play now, And play later, And now is soon later; Better choice, For a better life, Later is already now, And both are better, Especially your life.   Clarity of a Vet By Bill Cottringer This Memorial Day, He thinks back, About then, About now, And what’s ahead; Volunteered, To help the fight, Of a little country, To be free; Thought it was right, But then came back, To a world of rejection, College hippies, Left-wingers, Those who didn’t know; Then not long ago, An old war buddy, Sent him a book, “Buddha’s Child,” By a fellow author, Previous warrior Nguyễ?n Cao Kỳ?, Who took the time, Graciously thanking, All the American soldiers, Helping his country, Fight the war for freedom, But sadly losing, But at least trying, And maybe that, Is what counts most? Back then, Now, And what’s ahead; One thing’s for sure— Our own freedom, Stays preserved, For all those here, Whether for or against, With this courageous effort, Building hope for us all.   Our Common Problem By Bill Cottringer Doesn’t matter, Curtain coming up, Curtain going down, Or what’s in between, The game’s the same: Have courage, Be hopeful, Be soulful, Walk tall; Despite The unwanted Failures, Burdens, Rejections, Disrespect, Invisibility, Pain, Negativity, Symptoms, Unhappiness, And all the rest; Those left standing, With courage, Hope And soul, Win the game.   Closing the Gap By Bill Cottringer His life journey Was a single choice: On which side, Of a chosen epitaph, Would he end on? “He sure tried hard!” “But not quite hard enough!” Relationships, Careers, Hobbies, Staying fit, Having fun, Doing things, Finances, Loving, Understanding, Accepting, Adapting, Changing, Learning, Growing, Writing, Deciding, Being, Experiencing— All that we call life, In between both sides, Of our chosen epitaph; And, you’ll be glad to know, The gap is closing, With enough efforts And enough results.   Is The World Worse? By Bill Cottringer Is life getting worse— More hate, More violence, More poverty, More sickness, More negativity, More burdens, More failure, More tragedies More speed; Less love, Less peace, Less health, Less hope, Less joys, Less success, Less humor, Less slowing down? Don’t really know, But don’t think so; Rather what I create, In my own head, About what I see, About what I hear, About what I read, About what I judge, About what I think is so, Because I don’t know so; Rather my responsibility, To keep an open mind, Where things just are, From where I look, To know what is so, And what is not so, Without an opinion.   Unhappiness By Bill Cottringer We all want one thing, Something we call happiness, But most end up, With everything else, We call unhappiness; I wonder why, We try so hard, And have so little, Losing sight, Of a simple quest, Missed by all the rest, Just three simple things— Something to do, Someone to love, Something to look forward to, All missed but for a few.   Whispers From My Soul By Bill Cottringer When my busy mind Stops thinking so hard, When my weary heart Stops feeling so much, My wise soul’s whispers Can finally be heard. Why the violence? Why the hatred? Why the burdens? Why the unfairness? Why the problems? Why the injustice? The answer is too simple, To be thought or felt, Or even acted out; Rather a wise whisper, Very faint, Deeper down, From my soul— Wrong thinking, Wrong feeling, Wrong doing; Not easy to change, But right thinking, Right feeling, Right doing, One thought, One feeling, One act, One at a time, Answers the whispers From my soul, And only then, Do peace and understanding, Begin to fill my mind and heart, Gradually giving, My soul its due— Wisdom, For my mind, For my heart, And for my soul.   Your Heart's Garden by Bill Cottringer Want it all, Or nothing at all, Either way, Empty-handed, With lonely fears, Or sorry regrets; But eventually finding, A creative opportunity, Your piece of the pie, Always there, If you try; Feeding and weeding, Your heart's garden, Making visible treasures, From invisible dreams. © Bill Cottringer   What Is Time? By Bill Cottringer What is time? Seconds, minutes, hours, Days, weeks, Months, and years? What the clock says? What the calendar shows? Same all the time, Or faster when having fun, And slower when not? Past already gone, Present just about, Future a second ahead? Speeding up motion, Getting more done, Slowing down, Having more time, To do more, In less time? All the above, Or none of the above? Only one thing’s for sure— Time came first, Before our minds perceived, Our clocks measured, Or our calendars showed; We don’t know time, So what makes sense? Living now, Without looking back, Or peeking forward, No expectations, No judgments, Only paying attention, Now.   Childhood Dreams and Adult Realities by Bill Cottringer Everybody is born to be somebody, Everyone is given a special gift, To help become that somebody. Some people know it right away, And some don't ever find out; Those who do, succeed, Those who don't, fail. But it's not that simple: Something is strange, About this success thing. It appears suddenly overnight, But it sure takes it's merry time, To slowly mosey to that point, Where all your hard efforts, And resistance to quitting, Finally meet the right opportunity; Maybe for two good reasons: Life is what happens, In between childhood dreams, And our adult realities, Taking plenty of time, To weather the storms, And see the point-- It is not about you, Being somebody, All for yourself, But helping others Be somebody, For themselves.   Fears By Bill Cottringer When I was younger, I had a few fears, That could bring tears: Fear of snakes and bats, Fear of getting bullied, Fear of losing in love, And fear of not getting Bigger and better. Somewhere in the middle, These smaller fears Gave way to bigger ones— Fear of unemployment, Fear of bankruptcy, Fear of divorce, Fear of death. Now in later years, I have but one fear, Fear of something, Giving enough cause, To stop Learning, Believing, Growing, Improving, And being The best me, I can be.   Oh, We Miss Murphy By  Bill Cottringer Oh, we miss our Murphy cat; Now even those annoying things, Coming with this amazing feline, Are admittedly missed with tears— The 4 am ‘let me out’ wake-ups, The pitiful chipmunk meals, The late night wanderings, The dangerous raccoon encounters, And even the hairball upchucks, All now join our fond memories Of his many entertaining antics— His ridiculous elk stalking delusions, His joining family dinner time, His reality checks with the log deer, His chasing the laser beam, Checking out his play tray, And knowing his Murphy name; But watching movies on our couch, Or just sitting in the upstairs chair, Without Murphy’s happy purring, Rearranging and adjusting in our laps, Thoroughly enjoying his ear scratching, And cold-nosing with appreciative eyes, Just won’t be the same, Because of the empty house, Without Murphy cat. All we have left from Murphy, Is his picture and thoughts— “Feed me, Love me, And never leave me.” Oh, we miss our Murphy   Artificial Urgency By Bill Cottringer Speed, speed, speed, Everywhere speed; Can’t wait a nanosecond, For something or anything; Face Book, I-pods, I-phones, G-4 and The Cloud. Doesn’t anyone see, Slightly ahead, Past where we are going? Beating the speed of light, Full circle, Back to home to cope, Eventually I hope. Don’t know about others, But this I-net player, Is slowing down, Slower, slower, slower, Everywhere slower, For a needed pause, Back to: More humanism, More individualism, More rationalism, More moderation, More excellence, More permanence, And much, much, Much, more Freedom; Freedom to be A better me, Eyes seeing, Ears hearing, Mind thinking; All the while, Technology, Still around And still on, In case it can give And better serve me, Instead of the alternative, That is not the needed key, To a better life, Even for technology.   Reality Repair Rx By Bill Cottringer The world is broken, Snapped in two, I surely see it And so do you; We see it, We feel it, We know it, With our eyes, With our hearts, And with our minds; Question is, What to do? If you are smart, Here’s a start: Begin to repair, The broken things, You broke, Right now, And so will I.   This and That By Bill Cottringer It is not really life That bothers us, Or even the things That happen to us; But rather, Our opinions About these things, As to this and that— What’s okay, And what’s not; What feels good, And what doesn’t; What is true, And what is not; What is right, And what is wrong, Good or bad, Fun or dread; It is hard to get past The rights and lefts, The ups and downs, And the ins and outs, Until you see What you have not— The close connection, Between the ‘what’ Of what you see, And the ‘where’ And ‘when,’ In time and place, That is the thing, The life, And the opinion, That seems between, This and that, Which it is not.   A Sane and Healthy Attitude By  Bill Cottringer Life is a roller-coaster ride, Up, down and all around, With sanity and insanity, Clarity and confusion, Success and failure, Gains and losses, Joys and sorrows, Fun and pain, Peace and turmoil, Love and hate. But there is always One grand opportunity, To see, With a choice— How to respond, To all these things, Good and bad; After all is said And may be done, Only one Makes sense: The whole attitude Of sanity and health, To courageously Get to The other side, With the patience It takes.   WERBSITE HOME PAGE