The Poetry and Short Stories  of Melissa R. Mendelson *ASSOCIATE  MEMBER* The Writing Forum’s Writer of the Month - December 2008   AUTHOR’S BIO: My experience includes working two-years as a news reporter for a Long Island newspaper, currently writing freelance. I have two books of prose poetry published, “Silent Dreams” and “Tears of Sand”. For ordering information please click here. My poetry has also been included in several poetry anthologies such as “Names in a Jar”, which can be found at Amazon.com, and a portfolio of my work can be found on my blog site at www.melissamendelson.com. To visit my page at Authors Den please click here. To read my short stories published here at The Writing Forum please click here. My Email:  mendelson77@hotmail.com   MELISSA’S POETRY Click on the button in front of any title in the list below to be linked to that poem:   House of Lost Souls   A Beautiful Dawn of Grey   Heart Bitter Beat   Odd Man Out   Winter’s War   Lost and Item   Ambers   Diary   Think Away   Seven Grains   No Line   Devils In My Sleep   Their Love   No Stone To Throw   Only   A Haunted Portrait   Sweet Harvest Moon   Disconnected   Under Stone   Never to Forget   Static   Whenever I Hear a Train   Empty Sleep   Four Walls   Gone Gray   Still Fighting   Stealing Rainbows   No More Winter   Starlight   Burning the Winter Away   Still The Fire Rages   Eyes in Dark   Wings of Courage   Wings Grounded   What is Family?   Crimson Dusk   House of Lost Souls by, Melissa R. Mendelson I live in a house of lost souls. We wander still, disconnected but alive. We stumble, and we fall. We try, but I am still lost, a lost soul, disconnected but alive.   A Beautiful Dawn of Grey By, Melissa R. Mendelson A Beautiful Dawn of Grey. My loved ones have gone far away, And yet, here I am to stay. But my love will never sway Nor warmth of memories to stray. I know I could never keep death at bay, And still he’ll come my way. But my love holds me today And warmth of memories is the sun’s ray. My loved ones may have gone far away, But they are still here with me to stay, My beautiful dawn of grey.   Heart Bitter Beat by, Melissa R. Mendelson My heart awakes, and I feel its pain. I remember why and what I've done. I can't erase the past. I just remember why, but if that pain does not fade, then I will, buried by the past. Why can't my heart awake in love and not anger? Why must it always be pain?   Odd Man Out by, Melissa R. Mendelson My heart breaks, but its cries are silent as others laugh and share their precious memories of times well spent, times that I will never know. For I am the odd man out and cannot fit into their mold. I am a puzzle piece not fit for their unity. So, I stand in their world but outside of it as laughter and feelings flow through the air and over me. Like a shadow, the past pulls at my heart, whispering why I am not accepted by them, and I know that I am not one of them. Yet, I yearn to forget the defining moments that led me to the person that I am now and connect with them. But that won't happen. I'm the odd man out.   Winter’s War by, Melissa R. Mendelson The fog rolls between the war of winter and sun, silencing the deafening roar of defeat as snow becomes rain. March was always the lion tearing ground with bitterness, frost over hope, but now it’s a leopard with solar flare spots. And the fog rolls on between the divide of how things were and how they should be, but the times have changed. And the sun rages on, burning this world, and winter becomes summer, melting in defeat.   Lost and Item by, Melissa R. Mendelson I often wondered as a child why I would claim lost items, and now I know that I was lost, waiting to be found. Simple trinkets, unknown memories fell into my hand, and I would take them home. But then my mother would make me take them back, and they were once again lost, waiting to be found.   Ambers by, Melissa R. Mendelson Good Night and Good Luck, he would say to a world struggling, a world close to today, and today, we struggle still, trying to break ground and be who we want. But in this world today, we hide, buried under layers, an avatar online. We walk the crisscrossed lines of the streets of life, trying not to get snared in crossfire, but inside, we scream, hearing the voice of who we really are. But that reality remains a dream, but as a year burns away, another rises. Seize the day. Cut the strings that bind you. Fly free, and dream. Good night, good luck.   Diary By, Melissa R. Mendelson My dearest black book, how I dare not touch your gentle, white pages and paint them red with vivid, painful memories that tear my heart open. Photographs of friends say I was once happy, but those memories are far and few between, falling ever so bravely across your book’s edge. A pen tells me, begs me to write, but to write is to relive. A year came and went, and you lie still, closed to the world, shot down by me until I save you again, my dearest black book.   Think Away by, Melissa R. Mendelson I don’t like thinking on the past, but I find that it’s always there, an old friend stopping by and not wanting to leave. It’s nice to remember the good times, but the bad ones seem more vivid, all those mistakes and no good-byes. I try not to remember, but there are days, where my old friend keeps on knocking. So, I open the door, but after conversation, pulling at old scars, I close the door. Better to think ahead, I say to myself, but I think away.   Seven Grains by, Melissa R. Mendelson Seven years. Seven grains of sand of my life since I returned home, and I’ve never left. Another year is fading, fade to black, and next year lies in white. And I’ll be a year older with dreams still in hand, a dove begging to be set free, but the skies are dark with fear and doubt. Where do I go from here? Will another year arrive and flee before when, where I might find myself?   No Line by, Melissa R. Mendelson No line. I’m spiraling into darkness. The world is gone, buried six feet deep of white, my future. Will I know love? Frost falls free from the swaying trees, and the trees fall down, breaking ground, my past. No connection. Silent is my heart holding its breath, a wish to taste love before it’s too late. No line, and I spiral into the darkness.   Devils In My Sleep by, Melissa R. Mendelson Fighting for sleep, but the devils won't let me be. Under the covers,  they moan in my ear, tear at my flesh, and dig deep into the darkness behind my eyes.  I see them. They crawl over every corner, pieces of me, reaching for my heart. Their ugly, twisted bodies consume me,  bloody shadows against the walls. Entangled into each other, they fall  against me in one breath, a mass that forms a lump in my throat,  and I try to scream! But they won, and I am nothing, falling  asleep.   Their Love (For David and Nan) by, Melissa R. Mendelson We always hear the story of one love, but to watch two hearts fold into one, it’s like catching a rainbow, whose pot of gold are smiles to shine as hands hold, become one. Their love is the kiss to brush across the lips of eternity. Their love is golden, never to fall under age but to become a legend. Their love is the dance of hearts, and we laugh, we clap, and we shine through their brilliance. We always hear the story of one love, but to see is to believe. And to see is to know their love.   No Stone To Throw by, Melissa R. Mendelson The royals are counting gold, gold no longer paved onto street, and the paupers walk the stone, unable to sway to their beat. Mouths are hanging open. Signs are in the air. Hearts are being broken. This world has lost war to the unfair, and the past laughs cruel, for we are the fool. Old mistakes are our burden to wear, but is we, who are ready to tear. So, count your gold, you royals, gold that belongs to the street for we no longer walk on stone but storm across our own beat.   Only by, Melissa R. Mendelson I try to be human, laugh as they laugh, and be a part of their life, but my life has been unlived for a very long time. And I forget to be human. I don’t feel. I think, my mind a wheel spinning and spinning until the late hours of night, where sleep steals me away, and then I awake, empty, alone. And I forget. My life remains unlived, and my day lies in repetition. I’m machine, a screw in the wheel of this world, and I get run over, forgetting that I am more than I am. And when I remember, I try to be. I try to laugh as they laugh. I cry when they cry. I feel, an alien presence, and then I forget that I am only human.   A Haunted Portrait by, Melissa R. Mendelson I saw the girl with the feather in her hat in my darkest hour, but I was sinking fast. And nobody was going to take me home, and she walked down the hall, leaving white whispers in the wind. And nobody would believe a word that I said. I was the ghost, and she was now memory. I was witness, and she was gone with a finger to her lips. Now, the walls were vacant, and her portrait was buried under six feet of dust in a basement of forgotten thought. But on this day, the day I come home, there she is back on the wall, life in perfection with no such tragedy to fade to black.   Sweet Harvest Moon by, Melissa R. Mendelson Sweet harvest moon, you tell me of this storm, and it comes with a rage, an echo of my breaking heart. I’m as lost as its winds that search in desperation of finding home, and heaven are white waves kissing footprints along the shore. And the skies are dark with fear, doubt, but my heart stays strong, alive. And love are stars that dance to the sweet harvest moon as another storm rages, and as another storm passes along the corridors through my life.   Disconnected by, Melissa R. Mendelson I’m living as a ghost, haunted by every waking moment, every disturbing thought that maybe I’ll never exist. Dreams are the sweet embrace of love, a love I may never find, but all I find are broken pieces of past that draw no more tears but still cut razor sharp. And life goes on, another lost face in the crowd, and hollow footsteps to follow. I remain disconnected, dreaming of the day, where I would finally become alive.   Under Stone by, Melissa R. Mendelson I’ve buried myself alive. My heart works no more, and I don’t feel. I don’t love. I don’t need love, but I dream of finding it, finding someone to hold me like a gentle flower wishing for rain, but my thorns have grown razor sharp. My petals are cupping the world, and seeds of dreams are shooting stars. But I’m still grounded, held by concrete, and my life is sidewalk carved with yellow, double lines, white chalk. I need to leave. I need to fly. I need to break free, and I need to love. But here in this place, my heart remains stone, and I’m buried alive.   Never to Forget by, Melissa R. Mendelson We forget that monsters exist. We wish the world to be perfect, but it lies far beyond perfection. Then, something goes terribly wrong. A hand of violence brings our dreams down, and we awake in pain, tragedy. We remember. Monsters truly do exist, but we beg to forget, to exist in peace, but there will be no peace when monsters are there to bring us down.   Static by, Melissa R. Mendelson Color me green because I want what you have, and I’ll do anything for it. I’ll put my identity on hold in a vault and take yours away from you, and I’ll have what you possess. Color me red because I won’t be patient any longer, and I will stand where you stand. Color me black because I was never pure, and your blood marked me for death to be executed in their minds. Their eyes will erase me from sight. Color me gray because it’s my life story to live in this cold environment, where I survive as an animal. Color me blue because I have done nothing but cried as you entered my life to represent everything I’m not, and I hate you for existing. Color me purple because my skin is bruised from depression’s bites and makes me lose control as I visualize that smile on your face. Color me in because I am black and white, trapped in an old, cracked tv set that stares out into a world of color as you sit before me and smile without judgment in your eyes and without a label on your shirt while I try to break this glass to join with you. I want to live in your world, where you are untouched by the horrors of the past. I don’t want to be shaded anymore, but there is no remote to change this station. So that I can enter your world. I’m trapped watching you through this static while you don’t bother reading between the lines, and I hate you because you’re me existing in another time and another place, because you were able to change with time and go from static to color.   Whenever I Hear a Train by, Melissa R. Mendelson Whenever I hear a train, I want to run. I always wanted to run. Since I was a child, I would stand before the open door, but then the door would slam shut. I never knew where it was that I was supposed to go, and instead of running free, I caught the wrong train, ending up on the other side of my world. And I hear it now. The ticket is in my hand, and the path is finally clear. But I still don’t know where it is that calls me, has called to me since that first train whistle. I’m scared. Change is hard especially for me, but I’ve let the world pass me by. I’m done running on empty. I’m done standing still. The train’s coming, coming to take me home.   Empty Sleep by, Melissa R. Mendelson Love for me is a dream gone cold, and I wish to feel his hand against my heart. They hold hands, pass me by, and dream, dream of love, but I dream no more. I look no further for pain of the past is fresh in memory. I won't hurt like that no more, so my dreams remain empty. I walk alone, but the dream of love lingers still, whispering through the corridors of my heart. And I know that I will dream of love one day again.   Four Walls by, Melissa R. Mendelson We live within four walls. The door slams shut, cutting the circulation of the world, and we drown in quiet. Only our thoughts are the voices in our heads, and these four walls promise to keep us safe. But then the door opens, and the world pours through, drowning us in its misery. And we need to escape, return to our sanctuary that will keep our sanity, but we can't remain within four walls.   Gone Gray by, Melissa R. Mendelson Soft rain falls down, echo of tears I can no longer cry. My heart is broken. My soul is drifting across the beauty of an acoustic guitar, and lyrics beg to sweep me away. But I’m here. I’m here, holding my heart, and worrying, worrying about the future that may come. Will my dreams give me light again? Will hope take my hand? The music plays on, and rain falls down. And I’m still here, drifting across melody, a stained-glass window that paints away a world gone gray.   Still Fighting by, Melissa R. Mendelson I can't remember life without war. Gunfire rocks my television set, and violence reigns, feeding my hunger for justice. Our world was destroyed, broken, and we fought back. And we're still fighting, but do we remember why? So many lives have been lost, and the tears of tragedy have stained the pages of history forever dark for monsters will always be born. And they will always be hunted down. And we're still fighting. I can't remember life without war, war that becomes the lines of definition for heroes on the rise, heroes protecting us, and we can't forget their love, their sacrifice. They're still fighting, and this war rages on.   Stealing Rainbows by, Melissa R. Mendelson Conflict are the rapid waterfalls carrying my pain away, and the words of peace are the bubbles rising to break the tension that tries to hold me still. Serenity takes my hand, leading me to rest against the warm breath of dreams rustling to live, and all my angst fades away. And now I am nothing but water flowing over into heart and soul.   No More Winter by, Melissa R. Mendelson The death of winter has come, but she fights to survive, cover this world in white. But beauty won’t lie still, frozen for another time. The flowers are flickering, seeds of love are begging, and the sun wishes to shine. No more dark clouds. No more turmoil to tear this earth apart. Smiles are the stars igniting, and summer’s breath is almost near, a whisper of a leaf ready to unfold. So, let winter fade, for it’ll return. This world will sleep once more under white, but not now. Now, this moment, this time belongs to youth, so free yourself from burden. And dream a thousand dreams tonight.   Starlight by, Melissa R. Mendelson The stars spend their time running round and round, chasing comet tails, and I sit back, admiring their beauty. The three kings wink with promise, and the milky way drinks in my dreams. But I’m still standing still. My cocoon refuses to break. I can’t take flight. I am no longer the prisoner of my fear, and laziness cannot hold me down. But I can’t hear my heart. Am I still alive? Was I a star that burned too fast, left cold because I stopped looking for love? I don’t trust men. Too many horror stories, but I would love for a sweet kiss to touch my lips and fill my heart. Tell me that I am alive, a star waiting to shine. Instead, the stars race against time, and I have no time left. Rise and shine, or wither and burn. But for now, in this moment, I sit back, drinking in beauty of another night gone too soon.   Burning The Winter Away by, Melissa R. Mendelson My heart is on fire. Love is winter, forever cold, but my tears are melting. I’m still alone, but my dreams burn, lighting the stars above, keeping hope alive. Love will find me here, and I will never be frozen with the fear of wasting my life. I still dream, and the webs of inspiration linger overhead like a spider, who would forever spin. But she is no longer widow. She dreams against the frost of the glass, waiting for love to come home, and now the rose petals are painted red. Hearts whisper like a ghost traced by a finger. The world disappears in white, but I don’t fade away. My heart remains on fire.   Still The Fire Rages by, Melissa R. Mendelson It's like a fire out of control, a raging inferno consuming humanity, and you hope for a wave of sanity to wash away the pain. But I can still see the flames burning the other side of this world. Its hunger is insatiable, and reason is engulfed, a burnt crisp with a thousand feet crushing it into the ground. And lives are now forever changed. Peace is an ember, twisting in the ash of violence, and the charred remains to be left beind this inferno will haunt a future ignited, a past forever gone. And still the fire rages, consuming all in its path, and the stars no longer burn, defeated for their beauty is destroyed, distant dreams falling from the sky.   Eyes in Dark by, Melissa R. Mendelson Eyes in dark are lost forever. No trace or mark. Never found, never. Gone from light. Nothing the same. Trapped in the night. This isn't a game. Same place. Different things. Different face. Nothing the same. Lost in the dark. Trapped in the night. My heart is the lonely dog's bark. My life is portrait consumed in white.   Wings of Courage by, Melissa R. Mendelson Heroes are the young that leave us too soon. Their courage are the fires never to cease, light to chase away our darkness, but still our tears fall. Rose petals drift across the rivers of time, whispering their name, and we hold to the ghost of them left behind. We dream of heroes rising in our time of need. We need someone to believe in, someone to take the villains away, but the damage is done. And the heart of the young roars like a mighty lion ready to jump into the storm, but in selflessness lies sacrifice. And they can never return home, but they saved the world. And in that, we have to believe, and we cannot fall down. But still we cry in despair, left to walk alone, but their dreams remain a fire burning in heart, courage for the soul. So, we wipe our eyes, and we rise, living for them, fulfilling a silent promise to keep their spirit alive. And with mighty wings do they take flight, soaring over white clouds of heaven and across the strings of life. We will see them again. Our heroes never die. They’re the essence of dreams, the moonlight of soul, and the guardian angels that will forever carry us into the arms of love.   Wings Grounded by, Melissa R. Mendelson I am a bird still residing in a cage, and my heart is breaking to be freed. My wings could touch heaven. My soul would soar through the arms of this world. Nobody could tear me down, but I lock myself away. I am afraid to fly. So many times, I hear the call, the chance to live, and I want to go. But I don't fly. I am weighed down by all that I am, and maybe I am addicted to myself. I can't let go, so I remain. I am a bird locked in a cage, watching the world roll on by, and opportunity opens the door. But instead of singing in praise, I draw blood. I repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe I am my own worst enemy, and my wings refuse to carry such burden. I remain locked within the prison of myself.   What is Family? by, Melissa R. Mendelson What is family? Soft, golden rays of sun race across deep, blue water, breathtaking in sight, the touch of life, but the waters could run cold, washing conflict across the shore, and drown deep into misery, turmoil over time. But love never dies. The waves keep flowing over warmth and bitter, touching the shore to ease the pain left behind, promising forgiveness, but could we ever forgive? Whispers of hope trickle down across soft, golden rays of sun, never leaving the waters that sparkle below, bonds never to be broken, the definition of family.   Crimson Dusk by, Melissa R. Mendelson Another year is passing by, and the seasons are changing fast. Amber gold are the autumn leaves that fall with grace across soft, loving memories, whispering of those no longer here but of those, who will never leave our hearts. Forest green decorates majestic mountains, breathtaking scenery to remind us of nature’s beauty, and we must remember to breathe. Tension are the waves of rain drowning our sorrows, but we hold strong, fighting the storm that rises still. And ashes of another year are to be relit by the promise of a new beginning, giving us light to face the unknown. Now is the time to remember, laugh instead of cry, and smile at the little things that will chase shadows of doubt away from our minds. Now is the time of change, fall, where beauty wears crimson, where pumpkins grin from ear to ear, and where memories stir, begin.