The Writing Forum Presents Poetry by Timea Szûcs   POET’S BIO: My name is Timea Kinga Szûcs. I am a Hungarian in a Romanian country and I write English poems, with the hope that this way, I will reach more people and because, as strange it may seem, it is easier for me to do it in this language. I wrote my first poem in the spring of 2001, at the age of 12. Five years later I started taking writing more seriously, I became a member of a community of writers and by the summer of 2006 four of my poems got published. Poetry is my escape from the daily routine, a way of communication, my Neverland or sometimes, just a diary where I write my experiences, feelings. I write poems on various themes: about life, about death, about the world we live in and its society, about love, about hate and everything in between. I also wrote some short stories and more recently, as I started to learn playing guitar, I started to write lyrics as well. I hope you will enjoy my work, as much as I enjoy writing it. Please visit my website, “Bits of Poetry” by clicking here. Email: sprince_sztk@yahoo.com   Page 1 of 3 Archives POEMS - Page 1: (click on the button next to any poem title in the list below to be linked directly to that poem’s location on the page)  Livid World  Reincarnation  Out  Runaway  Pushing you away  Over now  Never-ending seminar  Wrong  Ad  Valentines - Valentine’s Day Poem  Dilemma  From my heart  Porcelain  Get it  Vacation  Stand by  Never really  Mealy Christmas  Relapse  The wishes of the chosen rejects  Tonight  Confession  Chains of Society  Needy  Back  Stuck with yourself  My hero  The preacher said  Script  Plea for empathy  The things we are  Waiting...  Let time pass by  You  Set me free  The creep  Seraph’s elegy   Livid World Life is a puzzle - can’t figure it out, we’re waiting in lines for justice, in doubt. In front of decisions we’re standing alone, no help from outside no place to call home. Those smiles are all fakes, lies are the new truth, the venom of anger still poisons our youth. Wars in Iraq and wars all around, people are crying… Don’t hide from the sound!   Reincarnation Where will this road lead me to? Where should I get up and go and start another person’s life? I’m on my own and scared inside. I don’t know where the next stop is where I have to get down of this train of souls on empty roads souls that are waiting for new to get old then new again in another body in another world, on another alley… They buried me with windflowers, abandoned me near watchtowers on shores of waves of meters high letting me drown wondering why letting me hear the screams of the corpses and drag me towards the scariest forces “The body’s gone, the soul remains” I never listened to the tales “The soul remains, the body’s different” And in this body I’m visitant   Out Some tunes in an abandoned school One single mistake and you’re considered a fool. Dreary lessons about gravitation And you feel dirt calls in to get a confession. Ticking clocks on empty walls Time always runs by and life never stops; A glorious road, a sudden dead-end, Another deception, heart ready to bend… Loathed bandage on your wrist The last lucid thought before you’re dismissed; Always same secrets in everyone’s mind… And you thought you were special, one of a kind! Taste of knowledge of color of daisy Intensity’s fading, and I’m wondering maybe… Maybe hope is the only exception That helps us go on in a world of expulsion.   Runaway Hey now, Where should we run? I know all the roads, all the paths, let’s be gone Come on smile and hold my hand, we’ll run to the shore and build castles of sand Let’s hide in clouds of vintage lust if we learn how to share we’ll learn how to trust Teach me Teach this migrant soul to find its place to find control One day One day we’ll fly away and see the world on a brighter day   Pushing you away Let’s dream about falling, And wake up before hitting the ground Listen to the echoes Of screams carried by zephyr around Now dance to the rhythm Of the music bonding us this close Be my innocent habit Babe, be my failed-jaded overdose Trust your intuition, Our youth is an erratic charade Love’s folie à deux Invented in a secret escape Fade in obscurity Oblivion solves the mysteries I won’t try to find you My flashlight is out of batteries   Over now Following directions and misguided by your voice Kept thinking ‘bout the future but ignoring things I’ve lost Lessons in my soul overlooked by other thoughts Forever was a word with meanings still unsolved I’m here again in solitude feeling like myself Left alone to figure out my trip and my next steps Free again, please stay away, I’m finally getting well Don’t come back, chapters reviewed, locked away at last Dreams reflecting things I wish or just things in my mind? I’m lost in pages of my past, in grey clouds of my time I want to get away from here at least for just a while Peace and silence bring me joy with songs of lullabies Closing walls and open doors convincing me to leave Breathing air more easily I wave goodbye to thee Counting stars and singing tunes my sun begins to shine Learning from my old mistakes I’m starting a new life   Never-ending seminar Time stands still, The noise grows slowly, I dream of home, My patience runs out I can’t stand still, Words don’t interest me, Existence is pain, And I just want to shout God is a question on everyone’s lips, Searching a reason for having to wait Yellowing walls are trying to calm me But closing blue eyes are proving it’s late The teacher’s still talking, Our ears start to hurt us, Everyone’s tired, Everyone bored My colleague is drawing, He’s seeing me yawning: “Just five more minutes” I’m getting assured…   Wrong My sky is clouded, My dreams are haunted And I’m alone, wet in the rain What’s there to reveal? Truth in what I feel? Let’s think about staying awake  Been away lately Now it’s too late surely, To aspect your warm embrace Pride crossed the line I’ve thought you’re still mine Now reality proves I’ve lost you My heart is aching Our love is breaking But pain’s the sign we’re still alive   Ad Stay away from tears, from lies Stay away from fears, from whys Believe in forever in doubts deep inside I’m hurt by a sliver I bleed out my pride Pay the debts of youth, of lust Pay the debts of truth, of trust Chase your dream don’t ever give up Thoughts and song teem then pour in the cup Seek motivation to live, to survive Seek motivation to strive and to thrive   Valentines When I whisper your name, Bring me the distant bright moon In dreams we’re together I’m falling in love too soon I’m counting the stars With the hope to reach them with you I want to melt in your embrace And take your sadness when you’re blue Let’s fly with the angels See the world in ways never seen before Close your eyes, hold my hand And kiss me darling wishing for more   Dilemma 2 a.m. and I am still online, chatting with you Wondering if the words you send are glimpses of truth My doubts in distance will not let me sleep How will things work? To see means to breathe And I have only seen pictures, never your face What if here is a blast, and there is just blaze To love means to feel, affection means closeness These separating miles are leaving me wordless So I tell you good morning, you tell me good night Go on with your life, I turn off the light…   From my heart What is this dreary silence that has gotten in the way of love? Everything was smooth once, like the flight of a heavenly dove But times have changed, times changed your feelings I dreamed of wings once, now I only dream of fallings I won’t speak, I won’t say a word that might ruin your day, Perhaps if I’ll shut up, you’ll come back to me and you’ll stay I can’t be someone else, play a role that does not suit me I’ll step back and let you figure out how things between us should be I wiped the tears, I know that perhaps, I will lose you Who am I to challenge faith? I’ll let you do what you want to I assure myself that the times we shared will never fade away And I hope you’ll always carry a part of me with you on your way   Porcelain Place me in your glass case careful Dust me then pretend I’m useful Read the note: “Be handled gently” “Not for kids” and “Be used calmly” But your numbness to my pleadings Hurts my body, hurts my feelings And I’m dropped and I’m in pieces Get the broom, no use for stitches   Get it I just don’t get it, you know. How come we’re pushing each other away day by day, more and more. Why won’t you take me out, buy me a rose, tell me the words my heart longs to hear why do I feel we’re miles away when we live in the same town, we breathe the same air and we’re both here I just don’t get it, you know. What are excuses, why are they said? I feel my journal is my only real friend seeing bunch of pages lying on my desk filled with cloudy feelings and thoughts from my head I just don’t get it, you know. Love is overrated, yet I choose to think differently I choose to care and reject infidelity Deep down I trust you, deep down there’s no more fun but life is funny and I think I get it… you know?   Vacation A lost silver bracelet lying on ground, lost bitter memories never around. Never-seen sunrise from a Greek beach, craziest dreams remain still unleashed. A call from a friend brings sun to my sky but dark clouds appear when I’m asking him why we can’t hold hands and walk on the shore- I never really get what I’m asking God for... A crystal–clear water with waves meter high, I’m drowning and asking at least one more try. I just want to swim and to collect shells and tan while enjoying restaurant smells but my bus arrives so I have to leave but there’s still a shot that I really need so I take out my camera and insert the tape, the pushed record button records my escape, just like this paper, my journal, my mind, all it’s a token, you’ll just have to find the meaning, the sense, the point of these words to see that we live in two different worlds.   Stand by Don’t hold on to me, we’ll both fall down Cover your ears, beware of the sound That infiltrates in every mind And rams you to the wall. It’s like playing with puppets But who’s pulling the strings? Look into my ceramic eyes and ask yourself If it’s just another one of your dreams Lock your doors, you might never know Who’s lurking outside Count to ten and assure yourself That everything’s alright Calm yourself. Deceive yourself. Play the soundtrack of your life.   Never really I never really had a muse Words are waiting to be used Themes are ready to be picked Sheets are ready to be ripped Out of this black book of thoughts Memories beyond known laws I keep my pen in favorite books I dress in black, to have the looks Just a glimpse at Sylvia Plath I wonder what drove her to death Ups and downs or highs and lows? Life’s a river, always flows I never really ran away Kept pretending I’m okay Writing is my discipline Everything that could have been Secrets held are spirituals Metaphors are rituals Will you know me when I’m gone Will you read my work and yawn? When there’ll be nothing to say Then the trees will start to sway We will all be five foot under Safe from lightning, safe from thunder   Mealy Christmas Corridors with rusted lockets No more candies in the sockets Santa Claus won’t come this year The fireplace melts faith with tear Watch me burn, collect the ash Throw your tissues in the trash Sins may someday wash away Broken things be fixed with clay Wait the day for falling stars To grant your wishes; open jars Are drawing flies inside the pantry Snowstorm’s terror in the country Christmas trees lack ornaments Silenced carols, banishments Something must have gotten wrong I look outside and see no throng… Let’s all prevent these things to happen Guard your kin, defend religion!   Relapse Time flies, man dies, we roll the dice, And bet our life on luck unwise Holes in souls and scars in stars The pain’s in songs, in tuned guitars Whole world polluted by us fools Smoking weed, getting tattoos A liquid love, a rock-hard hate The scents of hope evaporate…   The wishes of the chosen rejects Sometimes I want to scream Cry my soul out, have a nap Tear a pillow, break a glass, I'm always last one in my class Sometimes I want to sing Write a poem, draw a face Live my life and change my style But it always takes a while... Sometimes I want to fly, See the world then crush and die Then reborn, be someone new Changed people are only few. Sometimes I want to know Have no rest, read, learn some more Make others proud, pass every test And be the smartest they detest Sometimes I want to sit, Meditate watching the walls, Or write a journal... I'm alone Why in this life I'm the unknown?   Tonight I can’t move, I’m just too cold the music shouts in my stereo my head explodes, it pained all day can I find comfort in a rock and roll song? The phones near me, perhaps I should call him but I can’t talk, I have nothing to say there’s a mess in my head, a mess all around me old paper clippings waiting to be thrown in a bin I sit next to bottles of mineral water, one half empty, one half full; I’m thirsty but I forget that I’m just too lazy to move too lazy to make my bed and get finally warm Songs I sung, things I wrote, verses going on in my mind while the room spins with me in it and my dress hanging out from this ancient black closet I reach to the switcher to turn off the light With my eyes closed and head laid down, The chill is running down my spine, time’s to decide, it’s five past midnight So I’m getting up and shutting down the registry   Confession Forgive me father, for I have sinned I let myself be carried by wind Away from God, away from Grace I disappeared, I left no trace I didn’t answer to the call I let myself be pulled in the fall Forgive me father, my sin is big I’m an arid leaf on an arid twig And I lost the hope, I lost the faith I’m waiting for God’s holy wraith To bring them back, the good old days When He listened to my prays Forgive me father, my mortal soul now lives in pain, now lives in dole and I can’t fight against the storm Lightning takes an evil form And it strikes straight in my heart And my whole world falls apart Forgive me father, oh I confess I need your blessing, nothing less The whole world turned its back on me My guarding angel’s abandoned me Now I reside in solitude I shouldn’t have changed my attitude Forgive me father, what’s left to say? I’m another person gone astray And I can’t find the right way back Help me father, to get on track And I will try to do my best And pass God’s each and every test.   Chains of Society We hear the crickets singing outside Inside, our soul is crying out loud Silence for our thoughts, it’s time to hide Revealing the truth is not allowed. Every night we remember the past… The future is too distant to see. Come closer, join me, fast, Slowly, grab my hand, hold me. Look into our eyes, look for a sense Garbage is all we can hear now, Later the beat will incense… Serenity will know why or how. One day, we’ll find domination! Inferiority is caused by shame Pride makes us believe our action While immobility remains the same; One day, we’ll outfight boredom! Excitement will prevail in our mind And our heart will become dumb And then freedom will be redefined.   Needy We need time... Time to think, To get on our way… Time to dream, To have a purpose day by day We need hope… Hope to succeed, To be accomplished…. Hope to be kind And not so selfish We need truth… Truth to trust, To be aware… Truth to live And not feel scared. We need joy… Joy to be happy Not depressed… Joy, forgetting All that's wrong and all that's messed.   Back You know I’m here for you now you know I’ll never go away and leave you alone outside in the rain like I did back then, when I didn’t know who I was, or who I should have been… Maybe time has indeed stories to tell, but let’s leave past behind us and enjoy this sunny day. I’m up of the floor, I passed through hell, and now it’s all okay, I learned a soul can heal and I can reborn if I have the courage, the hope and the right amount of will. Please... Give me a month, a week or just one day, give me just a moment of your time… I’m someone else, I’m someone new, the old me disappeared inside the ripped pages of my forgotten diary... Just give me another chance... Tell me how to live… I forgot how to be.   Stuck with yourself the party is over - on streets just fallen leafs and I get stuck with myself now that everyone leaves and I fear my wish remains unknown I fear my future remains flyblown know my life in just few words my story will freeze the curse you throw upon my head hope may be fading but I’m not dead   My hero He is my hero The one I need in despair I know he will save me He will emerge in mid air He will locate me When I’ll be in need He will bring the light, He’ll take over the lead He’ll fly over oceans To accomplish my wish He’ll always be there, and He won’t ever be selfish He’ll teach me to fight And overcome my fears He’ll bring me true joy And wipe down these tears   The preacher said The preacher said those who believe will find eternal happiness that the saints should be our idols instead of those phony faces that try to entertain a world full of sorrow without the hope for a better tomorrow The preacher said our ultimate breath will lead to a new beginning after the day of our death, the sun will rise and we’ll start singing Hallelujah, divine spirit interfered! Hallelujah, pain finally disappeared! The preacher said treat others the way you would like to be treated and God will help you get up the day you feel defeated. God is the Savior, God is the Truth God is the Almighty Unending Youth.   Script The show is over, pull down the curtains Leave the theater, viewers are gone, No more claps, no more congratulations No one else around…go home Learn new lines, take new masks to hide in Perhaps one day these things will change Perhaps one day, you’ll look out the window And you will see nothing's so strange Play your parts in plays of tomorrow Let go your fear, get up on stage Speak the words from your book of seclusion Find peace in a world of rage   Plea for empathy The sun already covered its face from my eyes The moon makes its appearance, telling me lies Telling me that it’s just a time to dream This way letting me know his villainous scheme; I think this night will last forever And I’ll never see a rainbow ever. The stars above will be my guiding lines… But I’m still hoping, waiting for signs I don’t want to go and leave all behind I still have more to do, more to find… I lost myself, now I’m rediscovering I was depressed, now I’m recovering. But maybe it’s already too late Maybe I’ve been too long in that psychological state Back than I really thought nothing has its sense, When I had no confidence and lived without defense. Now I feel this night drowns all my life force Maybe I’m cursed; I wish I knew its source I did things I’m not proud of, But is there no clemency above? Can’t You, my Lord, give me another chance? I’ll treasure my life, I promise I’ll advance But how can I prove that, if I don’t have the opportunity? If I can’t prove that I belong to this community? I’m human, so it’s normal to make mistakes, I know I did more than one, but I’ll do all it takes To remain down here, where I finally found my place, So I’m begging for Mercy, I'm waiting for your Grace.   The things we are We are lost souls Seeking solutions To fill the deep holes To find substitutions We are the facts We do to each other Now it all reflects On the face of another We are the dreams That we have every night Hearing the screams Makes us turn up the light We are the lies We hear from a distance Still waiting to realize our innate avoidance We are the restless Still searching a way Waiting to progress While all wastes away   Waiting... Time passed too fast so I’ve killed my past, I’m on my own on death-black throne waiting for an end There are no rules, no more excuse; no more noise, just hidden toys waiting to be played with I’d like to fly, fly off the sky going beyond but my wings are pawned, waiting for release No more patience, no acceptance, only few words misunderstood worlds waiting to know each other   Let time pass by Searching a God is a divine motivation Seeking life and death is more than an exploration It’s waiting for answers an eternal vacation It’s a moment to reflect… Who needs no meditation? Guarding a secret is an undercover mission It’s hiding a truth for a well-known explanation It’s the ultimate lie, the supreme negation, It’s the unfaithful, the coward… Who needs no salvation? Waiting for a response to an important question The clock is ticking and it’s raising the tension Time is passing and we still live in segregation It’s the waiting that grows old… Who needs no alteration?   You Like a mirror reflecting my face Your eyes are the place I’m caught up in a maze Like the appearance of a star on a rainy evening Your beautiful smile has the power of healing Like sparkles in the night lighting my way Your words bring me joy every single day Like drops of water caressing my skin Your touch feels so good it makes me want to scream Like a child who’s fighting for a toy You make me feel as Helen of Troy Like a man who gives a meaning to my life You are the only one who makes me feel alright.   Set me free A radiant bulb throws shadows in a hall a deserted hotel room has “Risk” on the wall I’m inside a closet watching a spider having lunch and I think I’m caught too, I have this unusual hunch My mauve scarf is lying outside, on the parquet, I hear steps and he enters, he knocks down the locket, and I fear that he will read my mind that he will discover what I always hide I’m the excluded artist my pain is my art, hate is my pulse and it comes from my heart yet, love isn’t afar, he’s reaching his hand, and I melt with my hate like ice on hot sand The shadows are dancing the spider is dead the walls are now painted the scarf’s ‘round my neck and I’m singing and smiling because now I’m free past is forgotten, yet he still has the key.   The creep I reach my hands to feel your smile I open my heart to know your thoughts but you’re too good for a girl who dreams rivers of luck I’m a creep while you’re an immortal god I look at you, staying hidden in a lake of fear I fear once you get to know me my cowardice is steeled into rocks of amusement in a court of buffoons and my voice serves those entertaining tunes Now I can’t sleep because I’m drained turned upside down and inside out by the remorse that I tried to cross the lines but people change in changing times I changed the way I dress, I eat I starve myself to be worthy for your need and while you feed yourself with drops of force I become a creep with an endless course and the curse to love but be unloved and stay a victim of hazards and wait and wait for one more day for the creep to find its way Seraph's elegy Crying night and day, Feeling no joy, Outside is rain. Trying to live, But wanting to die All around is pain. Never calm, Wishing for warm, She feels insecure. Her thoughts are a mess, She can’t find her rest, And can’t guess the cure... Ahead is the sea “It’s waiting for me” She says and she sinks. The water is cold, The story is told The angel now sings...